...been on this empty space for almost 5 minutes now, typing and erasing, typing and erasing. Because I don't have the idea how to pen down my thoughts in this tiny space, my complications that sometimes drive myself crazy... this self-pity thing sometimes eats me out completely.
People need friends. And for someone who's staying outside, without their parents to rely on, all the more they needs to rely on their friends. Pity is that, I don't have many. Or rather, people who were there for me, were only there for me for a short period of time then poof, off they disappear. Misunderstandings, or just distance, drifted apart.
To be honest, I am a very shy girl. I cannot/I don't know how to make new friends. If you were throw me into a new land, I'll most probably end up alone. But this time, I'm pretty sure I tried.. I tried getting to know people, tried trying to get some conversations that maybe would lead to more, but nobody is letting me in. Hence, here I am again, ending up alone.
I'm always alone, or maybe I should say, I only have one person. Which is why I always tend to be dependent on that person, as I always don't have any other to depend on. "Be independent" I tell myself most of the time, but do you not get tired of eating alone everyday, going here and there alone everyday? Its like you're in a dark room, crying out for help, hoping there's someone there but what you heard is only the echoes of your own voice.
I really do not want to sound like I'm some pathetic bitch or anything, but really, this has been bugging me for the past 4 months since I started my degree course.
How pathetic.
2 comments:
get involved in your uni clubs/societies evelyn. that's where you meet alot of new people and then there will be more to sustain the friendship through common interests and activities. once you find your niche, you'll find your comfort zone. :) good luck.
Thank you! I'm planning to do that once I start my second sem, hope it all goes well for me. :)
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